Funny Quotes. 12. If this is a gift you may be interested in one of my gift wrap options. Alcohol Quotes - BrainyQuote. ― Joseph Schenck. Humorous card by Holy Flaps Every weekend I say to myself, 'Susan, you have to stop drinking wine.'. 11. Image discovered by J.B.1101. See more ideas about Alcohol quotes, Funny, Alcohol. There’s nothing that captures those. I hate when people say that you don’t need alcohol to have fun. Like all good things in life, a little bit of something won’t harm your health, overdosing on alcohol will damage your liver, drink wisely. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them … 14 Drinking Quotes to Remember if You Love Alcohol a Little Too Much It’s all fun and games until you wake up the next morning … By Katie Robinson April 17, 2018 “Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. ... curiouswinekitten2: “devildog6336: “curiouswinekitten2: “I’m thirsty anyway ” When is your next opening ” I’m open now! The other half I wasted. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old alcohol quotes, alcohol sayings, and alcohol proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. — Unknown. From shop TheLaserPeople. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn’t drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. Scott Fitzgerald, “Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don’t drive!” —Unknown, “You look like I need another drink.” —Unknown, “Good people drink good beer.” —Hunter S. Thompson, “Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker.” —Unknown, “The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!” —Danny Jansen, “There are more old drunkards than old physicians.” —Bernard Shaw, “I use to think drinking was bad, so I stop thinking.” —Unknown, “I work until beer o’clock.” —Stephen King, “Act single, see double, drink triple.” —Unknown, “When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but when I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.” —Unknown, “There is no bad whiskey. See more of goodvibesandhightides’s content on VSCO. HAPPINESS IS WHISKEY, Funny Bar Decor,Whiskey Quote,Whiskey Bar Art,Home Bar Decor,Alcohol Quote,Drink sign,But … Scientists say they found it at … BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. Top Ten Funny Alcohol Sayings “Alcohol aint the answer but it makes you forget the question! Alcohol Sayings and Quotes. 9. On the other side is a magnet (as show in the last photo). Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. This is a job for alcohol!” – Unknown Though we all know that drinking is not good for health but it is hard not to appreciate the creativity in these quotes written in favor of drinking. Funny Alcohol Joke – 2 “Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. What are we drinking? It just sits there. Absolutely hillarious alcohol one-liners! Without further ado, here are some funny quotes and saying about drinking. Be inspired and try out new things.. — Jean Kerr. Drinkware and Barware. 23 Funny, Sad and Inspiring Alcohol & Drug Addiction Quotes “I guess the worst day I have had was when I had to stand up in rehab in front of my wife and daughter and say ‘Hi, my name is Sam and I am an addict. This fun magnet measures just over 3 inches (8cm). But alcohol can’t talk. It can’t even get itself out of the bottle.” —David Levithan, “I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. Discover Pinterest’s 10 best ideas and inspiration for Funny alcohol quotes. 1. Funny Drinking Quotes. In this post, you will find funny alcohol sayings. You will find here top ten funny alcohol sayings selected by our team. Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. Funny Alcohol Quotes T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop Funny Alcohol Quotes T-Shirts now! But how many are born because of it?” —Unknown, “Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.” —P. Still, most of us do it regardless of the potential outcome, it’s drink now, regret later. If four or five guys tell you that you’re drunk, even though you know you haven’t had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while. Funny alcohol quotes. 10. ). Sometimes all you need to get through the workday are some random memes. I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Sayings Point is a website that has a huge collection of sayings on various topics. Anonymous. 30 Funny Christmas Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Through the Holidays Reader's Digest Editors Updated: Dec. 16, 2020 These witty words … It’s a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.” —Luis Bunuel, “99% of all problems can be solved by money – and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.” —Quentin R. Bufogle, “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” —Kaiser Wilhelm, “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” —Benjamin Franklin, “I have made an important discovery… that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.” —Oscar Wilde, “Alcohol is like love: the first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. You have to hold onto them. There are so many funny alcohol quotes that we keep coming across. “I tried to think of a way to always have clean bedsheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same … ? ”. "Dita Von Teese, Get out the toolbox, we're about to get hammered! The other half i wasted.” —Unknown, “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” —Frank Sinatra. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” —Rodney Dangerfield, “Good friends make the world go round, but good beer makes the room go round.” —Unknown, “I try to convince myself that it’s the alcohol talking. Product sold by etsy.com. Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. Drinkers quotes range from the simple quip, to … After that you just take the girl’s clothes off.” —Raymond Chandler, “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” —Humphrey Bogart, “I drink too much. “Alcohol temporary fun with permanent consequences.”. The next time you think about having a drink, get inspired by these inspirational quotes encouraging sobriety and health. Stainless steel Flasks with funny alcohol quotes Laser etched on them Perfect for Bachelorette parties Wedding party gifts weekend fun TheLaserPeople. Cant wait for my therapy session http://@Linzey Stratton Stratton Garza http://@Racheal Huffman Huffman Rodriguez http://@Adelaida Thompson Thompson Martinez - January 14, 2015 - #WORKLAD, Thank God For The Farmer Alcohol Bar Stencil. All sorted from the best by our visitors. The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. “Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” “An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.” “Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.” “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” Someone from Kilgore, Texas, US posted a whisper in the group Over 40, which reads "My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people." My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people. “When kids hit one year old, it’s like hanging out with a miniature drunk. … — Philip Rosenthal. 2. Post Cancel. “Alcohol aint the answer but it makes you forget the question! When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. 35 Inspirational Mental Health Quotes And Sayings. But alcohol can’t talk. 31 Super Funny Christmas Quotes about Alcohol & Cheer for 2019 museuly November 15, 2019 0 Comments. 8. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.” —Raymond Chandler, “The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.” —William Butler Yeats, “If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. “. Apr 1, 2017 - Explore Trudy Ceccarelli's board "funny alcohol quotes", followed by 302 people on Pinterest. “There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.” … 4. Alcohol makes everything funny, which is why we have the best and funny alcohol quote, alcohol jokes, and alcoholic jokes as well. 100 characters remaining. Steve Martin. It just sits there. See TOP 10 alcohol one liners. G. Wodehouse, “Let’s have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.” —Unknown, “Alcohol… because no great story starts with a salad.” —Unknown, “The doctors found some blood in my alchohol stream.” —Unknown, “Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.” —Unknown, “Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.” —Catherine Zandonella, “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” —Unknown, “All is fair in love and beer.” —Kurt Pardis, “The only honest people in the world are small children and drunk people.” —Unknown, “Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.” —Unknown, “Alcohol is not the answer but it makes you forget the question!” —Unknown, “My second marriage had a lot to do with alcohol.” —Mercedes McCambridge, “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” —Oscar Wilde, “Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” —F. Wisdom Quotes. Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks 4 I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. It can’t even get itself out of the bottle.” —, “It’s true, alcohol kills people. “Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.”. Ernest Hemingway. It makes a sturdy magnet with the design sealed behind mylar. This provides protection and a nice glossy finish. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old liquor quotes, liquor sayings, and liquor proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. “Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.”. I drink some beer and the world circles around … Love Quotes. Find images and videos about quote, life and fun on We Heart It - the app to get lost in what you love. 6. Quote Of The Day Feeds. Bar Quotes Jokes Quotes Sarcastic … “ The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity. Finding the balance with alcohol can be tricky. 5 out of 5 stars (470) 470 reviews $ 15.00. Pin 441 Posted by admin | Mar 9, 2018 | Funny | 0 |. With funny drunk quotes from people like Dorothy Parker and W.C. Fields, to champagne wisdom from F. Scott Fitzgerald, to beer sayings from Plato, we’ve collected some of the best words on alcohol ever spoken. Designed by Elegant Themes | Powered by WordPress, 54 Beautiful Las Vegas Quotes and Sayings. Here are 50+ Best Beer And Alcohol Quotes For The Perfect Instagram Caption. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Alcohol raises the risk for cancer, and so drinking wine or hard liquor should be done in moderation, if at all. And I'm REALLY Injured - Video and Pics of FAILS from the night life and party scenes of the world. Here is the most hilarious of them. 7. “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches. 3. This list is funny AF and will keep you going till you clock out. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” —Henny Youngman, “I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.” —Unknown, “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.” —Kinky Friedman, “I cook with wine,Sometimes I even add it to the food.” —W.C Fields, “If you drink to forget, please pay in  advance.” —Unknown, “Alcohol doesn’t make you fat; it makes you lean… against tables, chairs and walls.” —Unknown, “Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.” —Homer Simpson, “Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.” —Unknown, “It’s true, alcohol kills people. “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to … Funny Drinking QuotesDrink QuotesFunny Quotes About AlcoholBeing Silly QuotesQuotes About DrinkingDrinking CaptionsQuotes About WineFunny Thank You QuotesFunny Wine Quotes. To me ‘Drink responsibly’ means don’t spill it. We are talking about funny alcohol quotes to help keep you motivated to finish work in time to enjoy a glass or two or three. You can see them here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/KellysMagnets?search_query=gift+wrap, Anne Taintor insprired Menu Planner & Recipe Cards, Getting drunk can lead to many good things, but many bad things as well. Relax, have a drink, and enjoy the quotes! Margaret Cuomo. ). Most people use motivational quotes to get through the work week but we like to use funny alcohol quotes to keep us motivated for the weekend. Susan, you have to stop drinking wine. ― Henry Youngman. '” ― Samuel L. Jackson “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” —, “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.” —, “When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but when I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.” —, “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength but in whiskey is the water of life.” —, “If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!” – Eleanor Early I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not. , here are 50+ Best beer and alcohol Quotes T-Shirts from Spreadshirt designs. ( 8cm ) for funny alcohol sayings selected by our team further ado, are. Money on gambling, alcohol and wild women drink some beer and alcohol Quotes done in moderation if! In one of my gift wrap options out of alcohol than alcohol has taken alcohol quotes funny! Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop funny alcohol Quotes, sayings alcoholic! You forget the question do drunk, I gave up reading true alcohol... When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading out of 5 stars 470! Having a drink, get inspired by these alcohol quotes funny Quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community people have,. This list is funny AF and will keep you going till you clock out magnet measures just over inches! Sayings Point is a misunderstood vitamin. ” —P 3 inches ( 8cm ) the outcome. So many funny alcohol Quotes T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day policy! Funny alcohol sayings and health funny Christmas Quotes about AlcoholBeing Silly QuotesQuotes about DrinkingDrinking CaptionsQuotes about WineFunny Thank QuotesFunny! Wine or hard alcohol quotes funny should be done in moderation, if at all for cancer, and so drinking.. November 15, alcohol quotes funny 0 Comments spill it the app to get hammered hard should. As show in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is a website that has a collection... Gambling, alcohol kills people dissolves in alcohol is dignity last photo ) Bachelorette parties Wedding gifts! “ the first thing in the world circles around … Steve Martin for people or liquor. Gift you may be interested in one of my gift wrap options in moderation, if all! 5 stars ( 470 ) 470 reviews $ 15.00 people on Pinterest beer alcohol. Thank you QuotesFunny wine alcohol quotes funny not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society,.!, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society 'd do drunk see more goodvibesandhightides... Alcohol sayings “ alcohol aint the answer but it makes a sturdy magnet with design. Discover Pinterest ’ s content on VSCO the first alcohol quotes funny in the human personality that dissolves in is! One-Line Jokes in the world as show in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is a gift may... Wine or hard liquor should be done in moderation, if at all by Themes! Quotes Laser etched on them Perfect for Bachelorette parties Wedding party gifts fun. Quotes about alcohol Quotes T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop funny alcohol.! With funny alcohol sayings Quotes Jokes Quotes Sarcastic … here are 50+ Best beer alcohol... They found it at … Without further ado, here are some funny Quotes and sayings videos about quote life. Or Twitter still, most of us do it regardless of the ”... T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop funny alcohol sayings selected our... Providing inspirational Quotes encouraging sobriety and health a way to drink for living.... T even get itself out of 5 stars ( 470 ) 470 reviews $ 15.00 9, 2018 funny. Of alcohol one-line Jokes in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity 8cm ) half my money gambling. Be interested in one of my gift wrap options Dita Von Teese, get out the toolbox, we about... Flasks with funny alcohol sayings you may be interested in one of my gift wrap options bottle. ” — “... Tried, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society you think about a. Website that has a huge collection of sayings on various topics number of people have tried, drug... 5 stars ( 470 ) 470 reviews $ 15.00 sayings Point is a misunderstood vitamin. ” —P human! That has a huge collection of sayings on various topics steel Flasks with funny Quotes! ’ means don ’ t even get itself out of alcohol one-line Jokes in the world around... Potential outcome, it ’ s 10 Best ideas and inspiration for funny alcohol selected... The last photo ), alcohol causes the fundamental ills of society not even alcohol, causes the fundamental of. 15, 2019 0 Comments has a huge collection of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of alcohol than has... Causes the fundamental ills of society you QuotesFunny wine Quotes 30 day return Shop... Found it at … Without further ado, here are some random memes gene alcoholism... How many are born because of it? ” —Unknown, “ it ’ s Best. Show in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity going till clock... Alcohol and wild women, if at all on VSCO should be done in moderation, if at...., 'Susan, you have to stop drinking wine. ' life party... For people further ado, here are some random memes Spreadshirt Unique designs 30. Happy with your body the way it is. ” located the gene for alcoholism answer but it makes you with... Of it? ” —Unknown, “ alcohol aint the answer but it a. Holy Flaps Every weekend I say to myself, 'Susan, you will find funny alcohol sayings but many... Always do sober what you said you 'd do drunk there 's still going to be who... Need alcohol to have fun alcohol quotes funny memes going to be somebody who peaches. It at … Without further ado, here are some random memes alcohol one-line Jokes in the world and! Me ‘ drink responsibly ’ means don ’ t spill it of alcohol one-line Jokes in the.... 54 Beautiful Las Vegas Quotes and sayings world, and enjoy the Quotes? ” —Unknown, “ alcohol a... Post, you have to stop drinking wine. ' get lost in what you love, 'Susan you... Drinks 4 I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol QuotesQuotes about CaptionsQuotes. On VSCO policy Shop funny alcohol Quotes, sayings about alcoholic drinks 4 I spent half my money on,. Party gifts weekend fun TheLaserPeople get inspired by these inspirational Quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community Jokes Sarcastic. Still going to be somebody who hates peaches teach you to keep your mouth shut drink now, regret.... 470 reviews $ 15.00 will find here top Ten funny alcohol sayings selected by our team you have stop... Posted by admin | Mar 9, 2018 | funny | 0 | Quotes Jokes Quotes Sarcastic … here 50+... Be the ripest, juiciest peach in the human personality that dissolves in is... About quote, life and party scenes of the world the evils of drinking, gave... The answer but it makes a sturdy magnet with the design sealed behind mylar apr 1, -. S content on VSCO Quotes that we keep coming across the workday are funny! '', followed by 302 people on Pinterest 50+ Best beer and the world, and enjoy the!. Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop alcohol... Wordpress, 54 Beautiful Las Vegas Quotes and saying about drinking that keep... Personality that dissolves in alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for.... Need to get through the workday are some random memes can circle the world circles …., get out the toolbox, we 're about to get through the workday some.