Plus you get FREE access to all of our eBooks. But when God begins to highlight specific truth in his word that teaches you about good motives for relationships, this is a sign the Lord is sanctifying your motives for marriage. 1. When we seek to be on the receiving end all the time, we'll just be in bad spiritual and emotional positions.eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'christiantoday_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_1',156,'0','0'])); 3. In the process God will then be sanctifying your relationship motives and bring you peace. It is first and foremost the glory of experiencing more of Christ through each other. If you have tried couples counseling and did not see improvements it’s time to rethink your marriage. 2. One of the primary goals as a Christian is not to just get loved by others but to let your faith in God be expressed in your love for others. So that's what AGW is all about! CHRISTIAN COUNSELING // Struggling and need help? God uses struggle and suffering to sharpen and refine us, and birth something new. But really relationships at their best are less about receiving and more about giving. However, if you find multiple signs working against you, then it’s time you … As 1 Peter 5:7 states, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”, 2. You’re asking questions, interacting on issues, and finding a way to connect. Marriage no longer determines your identity. What are signs God is preparing you for marriage? Notice the coordinating conjunctions “but” that immediately follows the imperative “do not be anxious.” So every time we feel anxious this is meant to remind us to pray. Get your copy of The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness and access to all of our eBooks. So if you are having anxiety about being single, about dating, or about a particular person you have feelings for, this is a sign God is asking you to come to him in prayer about those specific issues. The same is true in marriage. These principles apply to specific areas of our lives as well. For as 1 Corinthians 10:31 states, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”, The “whatever you do” truly means “whatever you do.” It’s not hyperbole. My passion is to help others apply God's truth to every aspect of life for his glory and our enjoyment of him. Hi, I'm Mark Ballenger and I'm so happy you've come to ApplyGodsWord.com. . Companionship is not the ultimate prize of marriage. Shutterstock "When your partner inspires you to be the best version of yourself, that is a key factor in knowing they are marriage material," says Rori Sassoon, dating expert and CEO and Co-Founder of Platinum Poire. You desire marriage. It's completely free - my gift to you. You love this person just for being them. If God Has Been Teaching You that Love Is About Sacrificing Yourself for Someone Else, This Is a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage, It’s not wrong to want to be loved, but many people end up very disappointed in relationships because they are going into it thinking this is where they will finally feel loved by another. It could be a complete mystery, in which you have no choice but to walk by faith. eval(ez_write_tag([[336,280],'christiantoday_com-box-3','ezslot_0',113,'0','0'])); Marriage isn't rocket science, but it's no joke either. Sure, there are no perfect couples, but that doesn't mean there shouldn't be a to live in righteousness and fidelity. And love is always about doing what’s best for the other person at whatever personal cost is required of you. God does not want you to stay grieved, for his word corrects us to bring us close to God, “for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”. When we apply this to our desire for marriage in singleness, this means that our motives seem fine until we start looking at them through the lens of God’s holiness. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. Above all you must understand that in “standing” your faith must be in God … My gift to you. When it comes to finances, do you see God as a spiritual vending machine, a far-off cosmic entity or a loving Lord who seeks your good more than you'll ever know? If You Have Relationship Anxiety and Stress Right Now that Is Causing You to Turn to God, This Is Often a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage. If you are learning to love and follow God regardless of whether he will let you get married one day, God is actually preparing you for a healthy marriage too. Nothing more, nothing less. If You Have Relationship Anxiety and Stress Right Now that Is Causing You to Turn to God, This Is Often a Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage God allows anxiety to build in our hearts as a way of letting us know we need to seek him to strengthen us. Consider going to my sponsor Faithful Counseling for professional, affordable, Christian counseling. Sanctity is your priority. The Bible is jammed packed with advice on marriage. 1. The problem with a silent house is the absence of emotional connection. So if you are experiencing a worldly grief that is causing an unhelpful depression and self-hatred, that is not the Holy Spirit convicting you. But ultimately, the main motive God wants you to have for marriage is the main motive God wants you to have for everything you do in life – to glorify God. He might be pushing you to take that next step, but you have to listen out for His guidance. Here are 6 signs God is helping you sanctify your motives for your future marriage. Marriage demands commitment, passion, humility, love, and respect. Experiencing a low time in your ministry “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. The first instance in the Bible where God is not pleased comes when God sees Adam living in the Garden of Eden alone (Gen. 2:18). Unfortunately, marriage does not mean you will be intimately loved by someone forever. Mark 10:9 states, "So they are no longer two but one flesh. I know that in your perfect timing, when you see fit, you will bring us both together to love and serve you. He is love and he made marriage to reflect that love. 6. Hebrews 13:4, ESV "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous" 6. This reality doesn’t suddenly change the moment you exchange vows. God, though, might be giving you the signs that you are ready. Hebrews 13:4, ESV "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous". Here are four signs that you may be in a God-appointed time of transition in your gift or calling, along with some keys to help you move forward: 1. Stay up to date with the latest Christian news! Silence might be just as deadly as violence when it comes to marriage. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. So when you find the right person, remember to always keep God that the center of your heart and marriage. With that in mind, here are six ways that God is leading you to the one. Only Jesus is the true source of a secured identity. Imagine receiving a car for a gift from your parents but you don't have a driver's license. I believe our specific anxieties should lead us to pray about those specific issues causing the anxiety. If God Has Been Highlighting Biblical Truth to You that Points to the Importance of Pure Motives, God Could Be Teaching You to Specifically Sanctify Your Motives for Marriage, When we ignore what the Bible says about motives in general, it affects our specific application of these truths, including in regards to our motives for marriage. The paperback version is available for $12.99. But what are the biblical and right motives for marriage?” There are many healthy motives for marriage: to be loved, to give love, companionship, increased ministry fruitfulness, to start a family, and much more. 2. A marriage is a bad source of all of this. You seek to serve more than being served. A Guidebook for Every Phase of Christian Singleness, I believe our specific anxieties should lead us to pray about those specific issues causing the, These principles apply to specific areas of our lives as well. I've served as a missionary, a pastor, and as a pastoral counselor. But it’s not because you and your spouse shed the tedium of daily life. 4. Note that just a couple of signs among these may not necessarily mean that your marriage is breaking. 5 Signs God Is Speaking to You But You... 5 Things God Will Do Before Giving You the Desires…, 3 Reasons God Is Letting You Go Through an Impossible…, 4 Signs God Is Telling You to End a Friendship, 5 Things God Is Asking You to Give Up So…, 4 Signs Satan Is Trying to Spoil a Blessing in…, 3 Signs God Is Calling You to Pursue a Life…, 3 Signs Satan Is Tricking You to Believe that This Person Is The One, 5 Things God Will Do Before He Lets You Move On from Someone, 4 Signs God Is About to Use Someone’s Sins for Your Good, 4 Reasons God Is Not Taking Away Your Desire for Sex, 5 Signs God Is Asking You to Refocus on Him. 3. Companionship is not the ultimate prize of marriage. 6 Signs God Is Preparing You for Marriage By Sanctifying Your Motives 1. When the Spirit convicts you of having improper marriage motives, he will do so in a way that makes you feel loved and cared for, because why would God care to correct you if he did not really love you? 3. "eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'christiantoday_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_3',150,'0','0'])); 7. Keeping God in his rightful place is the key to a long, happy, and lasting marriage. These are the seasons when God seems silent…when our dreams and visions for the future seem lifeless. You have a sound understanding of who God is to you. In Nehemiah 8:8-10 it states: They read from the book, from the Law of God, clearly, and they gave the sense, so that the people understood the reading. You have learned to love yourself. I want you to know today that God has got you. Pray together, serve together, and fall in love with each other every single day. 4 Signs You are in a Ministry Transition. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”. It could be a gradual revelation, where little by little you see growth. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. He gives you the desire. Thank … "Being in a committed relationship with someone who pushes and drives you toward your aspirations and goals solidifies that they want what's best for you," she explains. But ultimately, the main motive God wants you to have for marriage is the main motive God wants you to have for everything you do in life –. When it comes to love and marriage, feelings aren’t the best gauge for God’s will. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. You seek Jesus more than anything else. If you are experiencing a high level of discomfort in your current situation, this open door may be God’s opportunity to release you from your peril. What I mean is that if you go into your future marriage with the expectation of this other human making you happy in ways only God can, you will actually have a very unhappy marriage. If God Is Deepening Your Knowledge of His Love for You, This Can Also Be a Sign He Is Preparing You for a Loving Marriage God is the author of love. Enter Eve, pro-creation, and marriage (not necessarily in that order). Our marriages are no different. This does not mean that discomfort is a sign you're in the wrong place. When you are confused about what will happen in your future in regards to marriage, you then have the opportunity to continue to be faithful to God as you follow him or you can reject God because you want him to give you a spouse and he isn’t doing this in your timeline. The basics of life remain. God may want to change you or your spouse before He brings your family back together. But what are the biblical and right motives for marriage?” There are many healthy motives for marriage: to be loved, to give love, companionship, increased ministry fruitfulness, to start a family, and much more. Anyone who enters marriage expecting it to infuse life with excitement and meaning is in for a surprise. Here are seven signs to look out for, and to also aim for as well. Philippians 3:14 tells us, "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. The correction might come in the form of a job loss, a pay cut, or some unforeseen circumstances that nearly breaks your bank, however God isn’t going to leave you or forsake you (Heb 13:5), but He does discipline every son or daughter He loves (Heb 12:6). The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” And in John 15:13 Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”. As Ephesians 5:31-32 says, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”. I thank you that I can trust you with every single detail of my life, that everything that matters to me matters to you. You might have some indications about the future as you move through your seasons. But when the law was rediscovered Nehemiah made sure all the people heard it. It simply means you promise before God and man that you will love someone with the love of Christ until you or your spouse dies. But through your season of singleness God will sanctify your motives for marriage by making you secure in Christ first and foremost. Subscribe to AGW Ministries and you'll get short, practical, and Christ-centered content sent right to your inbox. So when you do not know what the Bible states in regards to motives and marriage, you will not have, So if you are experiencing a worldly grief that is causing an unhelpful, If you are learning to love and follow God regardless of whether he will let you get married one day, God is actually, One of the primary goals as a Christian is not to just get loved by others but to let your, Perhaps throughout this article you’ve been asking, “Okay, I get that God wants me to sanctify my motives for marriage. If there's anything you'll need more when you get married, it's the fruit of the Spirit that brings love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Continuing on with the importance of repentance, the Holy Spirit produces a “godly grief” rather than a “worldly grief” in his loving conviction. If the Holy Spirit Has Been Gently Convicting You About Your Unhealthy Motives for Marriage, This Is a Clear Sign God Is Sanctifying Your Motives for Marriage. I thank you for all that you are, and all that you are preparing me to be. As you prepare yourself for marriage, focus on allowing God to shape you and mold you into the man or woman He wants you to be (Romans 12:1-2). But my favorite act of serving God is revealing his truth in written format. In love God wants the best for you, and so if you have bad motives for marriage, the Holy Spirit will give you a godly grief that will produce a healthy repentance. 6. You seek the fruits of the Spirit. There is a good amount of conversation back and forth. When You Know You Truly Want to Be Married to Glorify God, This Is a Sign God Is Telling You Your Heart Is Ready for a Relationship This is actually one of the big topics I discuss in AGW University. Type in your email address and a copy will be sent right to your inbox. In much the same way, you and I go through spiritually dormant seasons. 5. Marriage is a gift from God, but it is nonetheless a gift we must be ready to receive. It is critical that while you are faithfully standing for your marriage, that you are also allowing God, day by day to change and purify your life. Jesus once taught the disciples to seek service rather than glory in the realm of leadership. You seek Jesus more than anything else. The “whatever you do” truly means “whatever you do.” It’s not hyperbole. You are evolving as a woman (John 15:2): When God is leading you to the one, He will often prepare you for the relationship unbeknownst to you. Just as being thirsty is a sign you need water, and being hungry is a sign you need food, and being tired is a sign you need sleep – anxiety is a sign you need more trust in God. We all know that's a formula for certain disaster! That’s not to say marriage doesn’t improve life. It's all free! I have a Master's Degree in Pastoral Counseling, I've been married since 2008, we have two wild children, and we live in Cleveland, Ohio. But although we may not see or feel anything exciting, it doesn't mean nothing is happening. A lot has to happen on the inside of us before we are ready to handle the future God has for us. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. In Psalms 139:13-14 (NIV) it says,” For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. But then when you come back and hear his truth once more, you are grieved to repentance. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments at markballenger@applygodsword.com. You sense your work is done. – Matthew 6:33. If God Is Teaching You to Follow Him Even When You Are Single for Longer Than You Want, This Is a Sign God Is Also Sanctifying Your Motives for Your Future Marriage. 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